Why do Minifigs hate going to the doctor? Because plastic surgery (literally) costs an arm and a leg! Why do your kids hate going to the doctor? Well, probably because you let a stranger poke them with needles, shove popsicle sticks down their throat, and they get yelled at as soon as they start playing with the giant Q-Tips.
On top of that, Dr. Mario asks the kids to tell him how much pain they’re in by looking at a bunch of Microsoft Word clipart faces that are more ambiguous than
Hillary Clinton’s sexuality Bert and Ernie’s relationship. Fear not, dad, the brick stops here. I think it should’ve been extended to 11 – “Stepped on a LEGO. Tell my wife and kids I love them.”
The best thing about this highly unofficial LEGO Pain Assessment Chart is the emotion displayed in those little pencil eraser sized faces and the accompanying description below them. “But isn’t that everything there is to this incredibly geeky chart?” you ask. Indeed. Everything is awesome.