There comes a time in every man’s life when he must chose whether or not to put an end to his baby making days. Earlier this year, I decided that three kids was enough (and I finally got a boy!) and that I should get a vasectomy. You know how hard it is to make enough time to play with the kid(s), spend quality time with the wife, hit the gym every once in awhile and hold down a soul crushing 9-5 job… having another child would make it that much harder. Besides, the price of diapers isn’t going down anytime soon.
If you’re thinking about getting snipped or know someone who is, here are five things you need to know before making your decision:
It’s going to hurt
Imagine having your toddler kick you in the family jewels. Hurts enough to drop you but not enough to make you puke. Yeah, and this time it won’t go away in ten minutes. It’s going to be a week – at least.
Post-Op is a great time to catch up
You won’t be doing much of anything except sleeping that Friday. But you can rest assured you can milk the pain for the entire weekend. I did. Catch up on the DVR, read that book you just haven’t got around too, and log some serious hours online with your gaming console of choice.
Ice ice baby
You’ll undoubtedly be rotating bags of ice more frequently than you changed diapers that first year. Your Dr. may also suggest frozen peas, just make sure you don’t go grab a can of peas and toss it in the freezer. From this point forward you will always know exactly how long 20 minutes is.
From golf balls to softballs (no pun intended), you are going to swell
Yep, this part really makes life suck. It’s uncomfortable and gross but hey, you can at least say you’ve got bigger balls than all of your friends.
It’s totally worth it
Much like childbirth, getting a vasectomy is a necessary evil to endure to reap the tremendous rewards afterwards. Don’t let the guys in the office bust your balls over getting fixed. Simply remind them of all the Trojans running bare back and how they still need to saddle up their horses before heading out.